Sunday, 25 May 2008

I hate the Harry Potter movies: Part Cinq

Let me show you more ridiculous lines from the Harry Potter movies. Hopefully I will be able to find more topics to write about from them.

Oh wait!!! I remember something from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban! Remember the Gryffindor common room? In the first two movies, the common room was found at the end of a hallway. But the room has moved in the third movie. On top of that they've replaced the Fat Lady with a Bitch Lady who cannot help but be an irritating squawking dog. Once again, the change was not relevant. :)

Alot of changes were made in the Prisoner of Azkaban, changes that were unnecessary and irrelevant. Here are a list of things that were changed in the movie:

1. The Gryffindor common room and dormitory
2. The Fat Lady
3. The Whomping Willow (size and location of the tree)
4. Location of Hagrid's hut
5. Dumbledore *grumbles*
6. Malfoy's hairstyle
7. My anticipation towards watching the Harry Potter movies

Anyway, moving on to those lines.

But you know something? Isn't it just wierd how they are always talking so god damn fast? I'm lucky I understand because I've read the books but for those who haven't I expect it's hard for them to grasp what they (the characters in the movie) are talking about. When I watch it with people who don't read the book, they usually go "What are they talking about?" and I have to explain, being the good samaritan that I am.

Take a look at this line:

Professor Moody: The Goblet of Fire is an exceptionally powerful magical object. Only an exceptionally powerful Confundus charm could have hoodwinked it! Magic way beyond the talents of a fourth year.
Igor Karkaroff: You seem to have given this a fair bit of thought, Mad-Eye!
Professor Moody: It was once my job to think as Dark Wizards do, Karkaroff. Perhaps you remember.

Professor Moody said all that very fast, so who in the world was suppose to understand that someone had hoodwinked the Goblet? I mean, there should be a standard speed of speech in movies so that people who some kind of hearing problem will be able to understand and comprehend fully what they are talking about.

Professor Moody: Alastor Moody. Ex-Auror, Ministry malcontent, and your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. I am here because Dumbledore asked me. End of story, goodbye, the end! Any questions? When it comes to the Dark Arts I believe in a practical approach. But first, which of you can tell me how many Unforgivable Curses there are?
Hermione: Three, sir.
Professor Moody: And they are so named?
Hermione: Because they are unforgivable. The use of any one of them will...
Professor Moody: Earn you a one-way ticket to Azkaban. Correct. The Ministry says you are too young to see what these curses do. I say different! You need to know what you're up against. You need to be prepared...
[as he turns to the blackboard again, Seamus ducks under his desk]
Professor Moody: You need to find another place to put your chewing gum besides the underside of your desk, Mr. Finnegan!
Seamus: [whispering] No way, the old codger can see out of the back of his head!
Professor Moody: [throws a piece of chalk at him] And hear across classrooms!

In this scene too, Moody introduces himself way too fast. Sigh, when will they learn?

Professor Moody: [mocking Hagrid] 'Marvelous creatures, Dragons, aren't they'. Do you think that miserable oaf would've sent you into the woods if I hadn't suggested it? Do you think Cedric Diggory would've told you to open the egg underwater if I hadn't told him first myself? Do you think Neville Longbottom, the witless wonder, could've provided you with Gillyweed if I hadn't given him the book that led him strait to it?
Harry: It was you from the beginning! You put my name into the Goblet of Fire! You bewitched Krum!
Professor Moody: You won because I made it so, Potter! You ended up in that graveyard because it was meant to be so! And now the deed is done! The blood that runs in your veins runs within the Dark Lord! Imagine how he will reward me when he learns that I have once and for all silenced the great Harry Potter!

Yet another scene where Moody is speaking very fast. I mean, come on! The mystery is finally being solved here! Everything is coming out into the open! He should speak slowly and clearly so we can get it.

Sirius Black: [in his letter] "Harry, I couldn't risk sending Hedwig. Since the World Cup the Ministry has been intercepting more and more owls, and she's too easily recognized. We need to talk, Harry, face to face. Meet me in the Gryffindor Common Room at one o'clock, this Saturday night. And make sure you're alone. Sirius. P.S...?
[the bird bites Harry's hand]
Harry: AH!
Sirius Black: "The bird bites."

Sirius couldn't send Hedwig? He couldn't send Hedwig? Whose owl is Hedwig? Harry's or Sirius? Pfft! *rolls eyes*

Voldemort: Don't you turn your back on me, Harry Potter! I want you to look at me when I kill you! I want to see the light leave your eyes!
Harry: [facing Voldemort] Have it your way!
Voldemort, Harry: [both shouting together] Avada Kedavara!/Expelliarmus!

Aww, how brave and chivalrous of Harry Potter. *wipes teardrop* As if a boy of his age will look into the eyes of the most powerful -and not to mention evil- wizard in the world and say "Have it your way." The book is much more sensible.

[after the dragon has run into the teachers stand]
Fred: [yelling] Well done dragon!

Promoting a sense of rebellion and payback into the minds of the young ones eh? Good job.

Professor Moody: [points to a mirror in his office] That's my Foe-Glass. Lets me keep an eye on my enemies. When I see the whites of their eyes, it means they're right behind me.
[a trunk in the office rocks violently, and a low moan comes from inside]
Professor Moody: Wouldn't even bother to tell you what's in there, wouldn't believe me if I did.

Do you remember at the end of the movie, they found Professor Moody (the real one) inside the trunk? He was far far below at the bottom of the trunk, like as if the trunk was a huge room or something. Remember that? Okay with that in mind, how was he able to shake the trunk violently hmm? Not possible right? Right.

Hermione: Ron, you spoiled everything!

This is what Hermione told Ron after their fight during the Yule Ball. He spoiled everything? But I seem to recall everyone else having a good time, Hermione. Maybe you're too self-conscious that you consider "everything" as your own. So if he ruined "everything" that means he ruined your time did he not? Why are they trying to make Hermione sound like a know-it-all bitch? She really isn't you know.

Hermione: Ronald would like me to tell you that Seamus told him that Dean was told by Parvarti that Hagrid's looking for you.
Harry: Is that right? Well... what?
Hermione: Uh... Dean was told by Parvarti... please don't ask me to say it again. Hagrid's looking for you.
Harry: Well you can tell Ronald...
Hermione: I'm not an owl!

Once again, their efforts to make Hermione look like a bitch succeeded. What kind of friend would help one friend but not the other? She was willing to repeat Ron's message again to Harry but she did not even wait to listen to Harry's. On top of that she shouted at Harry and not at Ron. Do you see what I'm trying to convey here? The scriptwriters need a serious kick up the you-know-where.

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