Saturday, 31 May 2008

I hate the Harry Potter movies: Part Sept

Okie dokie chokie mokies. We've reached the end of my I Hate the Harry Potter Movies series.

Here are some funnies for you guys to digest. Oh yes and one last thing I want to point out before I close is this:

Hermione likes to defy Harry alot doesn't she? Take a look at these lines.

Harry Potter: [sees a strange reptilian-like horse] What is it?
Ron Weasley: What's what?
Harry Potter: That. Pulling the carriage.
Hermione Granger: Nothing's pulling the carriage, Harry. It's pulling itself like always.

It's obvious Hermione's hiding something, the way she was defending the fact that the carriages pull itself. What are u hiding, Hermione? Hmm ...

Harry Potter : There's something behind the curtain
Hermione Granger : There's nothing behind the curtain, Harry.
Harry Potter : Do I look like a effin' retard? Something's behind the friggin' curtain!
Hermione Granger : There's nothing behind the curtain, Harry.
Harry Potter : [steps on Hermione] Die bitch, DIE!


I've decided not to post the funnies, since you can see 'em in Photobucket. So yea, adios!

Thursday, 29 May 2008

I hate the Harry Potter movies: Part Six

Well folks, it's the 29th of May and my series of posts about the Harry Potter movies is now coming to an end. But that doesn't mean I won't be writing anymore. You can be sure I will publish a post about the upcoming Harry Potter movie right after catching it. :D

Anyway I've run out of things to complain about the movies. I've basically touched on every aspect that I hated. There were too many lines for me to include in these posts so I posted the few that I could come up with.

Now if there are any opinionated Harry Potter fans who have read my posts, and think that the movies did not do justice to the book, well, I am going to give a few pointers here directed to them.

Now if you noticed, in my posts, I did not mention anything about "the movie doing justice to the book" in the sense that the movies did not follow sequential incidents in the books and the like. Well let me explain why I did not talk about this.

Because it is not relevant. A movie is a movie. It is not a book. It cannot be a book. You cannot have the same experience watching a movie as you can reading a book. A book can be more flowery, more descriptive, more personal, and (obviously) longer. This is Common Sense 101.

You cannot expect and in depth view into the mind and thoughts of the main character in a movie as you can in a book. It is hard to show in a movie what the main character, or any character for that matter is thinking at a particular moment, though in a book the writer will explain what the character is thinking. This facilitates the reading process and makes reading the book much more enjoyable.

So for those who think "the movies did not do justice to the books", I have this to say to you. Suck it up. It cannot be exactly like the book, so what? What are you going to do about it? If you were the producers or the director of the movie then you will understand the conundrum they are in.

In my posts I explain, not what they did wrong in relation to the book, but what they did wrong in terms of common sense, plot outline, lines, and characters, etc. I don't believe that the movie can be one hundred percent like the book because the the movie needs to fit certain criteria.

Criterion number one is, of course, timing. A fast reader takes a couple of hours minimum to read a book as thick as Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. A slow reader would take a week or two, maybe even a month, some never. So how do the creators of the movies condense such a thick book, filled with loads of information, and characters and make a movie that doesn't run for longer than two and a half hours? Quite a conundrum they are in aren't they? Yes.

Basically it all comes down to common sense and practicality. How well they plan the movie so as to keep the lovers and the haters coming back for more. :) I sure as hell can't wait for the next one to come out. I'll be the first one in cinemas to watch, I'll make sure of that.

Oh and one teensy little suggestion? You (creators of the movies) should have divided every movie after Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban into Parts One and Two. Then you would have been able to make more scenes, and most importantly, more money.

But who knows what's going on behind the scenes right? If I have thought these things, I'm sure they would have thought it long before. They know better because they are over there doing all the work while I am here, shaking my legs at four in the morning and criticising their work. Haha

Somehow though the movies are doing extremely well in the box office.
Really, Kudos! *grins*

Coming Up:
Goodbyes are said

Sunday, 25 May 2008

I hate the Harry Potter movies: Part Cinq

Let me show you more ridiculous lines from the Harry Potter movies. Hopefully I will be able to find more topics to write about from them.

Oh wait!!! I remember something from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban! Remember the Gryffindor common room? In the first two movies, the common room was found at the end of a hallway. But the room has moved in the third movie. On top of that they've replaced the Fat Lady with a Bitch Lady who cannot help but be an irritating squawking dog. Once again, the change was not relevant. :)

Alot of changes were made in the Prisoner of Azkaban, changes that were unnecessary and irrelevant. Here are a list of things that were changed in the movie:

1. The Gryffindor common room and dormitory
2. The Fat Lady
3. The Whomping Willow (size and location of the tree)
4. Location of Hagrid's hut
5. Dumbledore *grumbles*
6. Malfoy's hairstyle
7. My anticipation towards watching the Harry Potter movies

Anyway, moving on to those lines.

But you know something? Isn't it just wierd how they are always talking so god damn fast? I'm lucky I understand because I've read the books but for those who haven't I expect it's hard for them to grasp what they (the characters in the movie) are talking about. When I watch it with people who don't read the book, they usually go "What are they talking about?" and I have to explain, being the good samaritan that I am.

Take a look at this line:

Professor Moody: The Goblet of Fire is an exceptionally powerful magical object. Only an exceptionally powerful Confundus charm could have hoodwinked it! Magic way beyond the talents of a fourth year.
Igor Karkaroff: You seem to have given this a fair bit of thought, Mad-Eye!
Professor Moody: It was once my job to think as Dark Wizards do, Karkaroff. Perhaps you remember.

Professor Moody said all that very fast, so who in the world was suppose to understand that someone had hoodwinked the Goblet? I mean, there should be a standard speed of speech in movies so that people who some kind of hearing problem will be able to understand and comprehend fully what they are talking about.

Professor Moody: Alastor Moody. Ex-Auror, Ministry malcontent, and your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. I am here because Dumbledore asked me. End of story, goodbye, the end! Any questions? When it comes to the Dark Arts I believe in a practical approach. But first, which of you can tell me how many Unforgivable Curses there are?
Hermione: Three, sir.
Professor Moody: And they are so named?
Hermione: Because they are unforgivable. The use of any one of them will...
Professor Moody: Earn you a one-way ticket to Azkaban. Correct. The Ministry says you are too young to see what these curses do. I say different! You need to know what you're up against. You need to be prepared...
[as he turns to the blackboard again, Seamus ducks under his desk]
Professor Moody: You need to find another place to put your chewing gum besides the underside of your desk, Mr. Finnegan!
Seamus: [whispering] No way, the old codger can see out of the back of his head!
Professor Moody: [throws a piece of chalk at him] And hear across classrooms!

In this scene too, Moody introduces himself way too fast. Sigh, when will they learn?

Professor Moody: [mocking Hagrid] 'Marvelous creatures, Dragons, aren't they'. Do you think that miserable oaf would've sent you into the woods if I hadn't suggested it? Do you think Cedric Diggory would've told you to open the egg underwater if I hadn't told him first myself? Do you think Neville Longbottom, the witless wonder, could've provided you with Gillyweed if I hadn't given him the book that led him strait to it?
Harry: It was you from the beginning! You put my name into the Goblet of Fire! You bewitched Krum!
Professor Moody: You won because I made it so, Potter! You ended up in that graveyard because it was meant to be so! And now the deed is done! The blood that runs in your veins runs within the Dark Lord! Imagine how he will reward me when he learns that I have once and for all silenced the great Harry Potter!

Yet another scene where Moody is speaking very fast. I mean, come on! The mystery is finally being solved here! Everything is coming out into the open! He should speak slowly and clearly so we can get it.

Sirius Black: [in his letter] "Harry, I couldn't risk sending Hedwig. Since the World Cup the Ministry has been intercepting more and more owls, and she's too easily recognized. We need to talk, Harry, face to face. Meet me in the Gryffindor Common Room at one o'clock, this Saturday night. And make sure you're alone. Sirius. P.S...?
[the bird bites Harry's hand]
Harry: AH!
Sirius Black: "The bird bites."

Sirius couldn't send Hedwig? He couldn't send Hedwig? Whose owl is Hedwig? Harry's or Sirius? Pfft! *rolls eyes*

Voldemort: Don't you turn your back on me, Harry Potter! I want you to look at me when I kill you! I want to see the light leave your eyes!
Harry: [facing Voldemort] Have it your way!
Voldemort, Harry: [both shouting together] Avada Kedavara!/Expelliarmus!

Aww, how brave and chivalrous of Harry Potter. *wipes teardrop* As if a boy of his age will look into the eyes of the most powerful -and not to mention evil- wizard in the world and say "Have it your way." The book is much more sensible.

[after the dragon has run into the teachers stand]
Fred: [yelling] Well done dragon!

Promoting a sense of rebellion and payback into the minds of the young ones eh? Good job.

Professor Moody: [points to a mirror in his office] That's my Foe-Glass. Lets me keep an eye on my enemies. When I see the whites of their eyes, it means they're right behind me.
[a trunk in the office rocks violently, and a low moan comes from inside]
Professor Moody: Wouldn't even bother to tell you what's in there, wouldn't believe me if I did.

Do you remember at the end of the movie, they found Professor Moody (the real one) inside the trunk? He was far far below at the bottom of the trunk, like as if the trunk was a huge room or something. Remember that? Okay with that in mind, how was he able to shake the trunk violently hmm? Not possible right? Right.

Hermione: Ron, you spoiled everything!

This is what Hermione told Ron after their fight during the Yule Ball. He spoiled everything? But I seem to recall everyone else having a good time, Hermione. Maybe you're too self-conscious that you consider "everything" as your own. So if he ruined "everything" that means he ruined your time did he not? Why are they trying to make Hermione sound like a know-it-all bitch? She really isn't you know.

Hermione: Ronald would like me to tell you that Seamus told him that Dean was told by Parvarti that Hagrid's looking for you.
Harry: Is that right? Well... what?
Hermione: Uh... Dean was told by Parvarti... please don't ask me to say it again. Hagrid's looking for you.
Harry: Well you can tell Ronald...
Hermione: I'm not an owl!

Once again, their efforts to make Hermione look like a bitch succeeded. What kind of friend would help one friend but not the other? She was willing to repeat Ron's message again to Harry but she did not even wait to listen to Harry's. On top of that she shouted at Harry and not at Ron. Do you see what I'm trying to convey here? The scriptwriters need a serious kick up the you-know-where.

Thursday, 15 May 2008

I hate the Harry Potter movies: Part Quatre

The movies suck so much on so many levels. I-I just ... cannot stand it!! Phew. I just don't understand why the movies are not structured properly. Why? Why?

The first movie was directed by Chris Columbus.

Doesn't look so bad innit? It actually looks quite magical and believable as a fantasy film. The movie was not so bad either. I actually liked it very much. I liked seeing them in the castle, studying magic, and Quidditch! Ah... Quidditch! Hmm.. what else did I like about the movie?? (I'm becoming one of those bloggers who note each of their thoughts) *back to normal self* Anyway, this movie was not bad, it was actually good. Okay I've mentioned that. Argh! I liked it okay? I was just good. There were a few things I didn't agree with but those things are trivial and overlook-able.

The second movie rocked. Yes, Chris Columbus was the director.

Gahh ....! I cannot put into words my feelings towards this movie!!! I was simply wunderbar! It was dark and scary and just fantastical! Sigh...~~~

The third movie was directed by ... *grunts* Alfonso Cuaron.

The series just went downhill from here. Look at the poster. The wind effect lost its touch long ago people, let alone using it on these war-minded teenagers.

Till today I'm still trying to figure out why Chris Columbus handed the movie to Alfonso Cuaron, of all people! Y Tu Mama Tambien (a movie which was directed by Monsieur Cuaron) wasn't all that great you know. It had nudity and all the naughty things children should not see. (not that I watched it ... *blushes*) Er ... anyway ... Why Mr Columbus, why? Why Cuaron?? What does Cuaron have in his repertoire that proves that he is suitable to direct a movie of this genre??

He changed alot of things that were in the previous two movies you know. The Whomping Willow somehow shrunk into a normal sized tree standing, not "in the middle of the grounds" but by the slopes of the hills around Hogwarts. Okay this is a little complicated for me to explain but I cam going to do it anyway. I agree with Mr Cuaron's concept for the Whomping Willow. Yes I do. I agree with the concept of the tree itself. Columbus made the tree a freaking huge one with clubs for branches. I just couldn't agree with that. Cuaron made it better. But WHY did he have to move the bloody tree? The tree was in the middle of the grounds! Leave the thing there! He shouldn't even have changed the shape of the tree. Columbus made it retarded so leave it. Why could he not do it? Incompetency is what I call it.

Another mistake, and this is quite prominent too, Hagrid seemed to have moved to a new home didn't he? From the hut he had near the school building in the first and second movie, he moved to a hut further away from the school, down below the sloping lawns. Was that really necessary? Seriously, was it? The Forbidden Forest was always behind Hagrid's hut, so why the sudden move? Why?

Thirdly, *ehem* why have their uniforms changed?

Photobucket Photobucket

Notice anything different about the uniforms? No? Fine. But I'm not explaining either.

And while we're on the topic, why the ruddy hell aren't they wearing uniforms in the movie?? They are not wearing their uniforms in most of the scenes, as opposed to the previous two movies where they always wore uniforms, since they ARE school students and they ARE in school and stuff, you know.

What else wasn't right about this movie? Hmmm ... Oh yeah! Did anyone check out the werewolf? What in the world was that bloody creature? Did Monsieur Cuaron even read any books on werewolf, let alone look it up on the internet? Here's how the werewolf was portrayed in the movie:

Now compare it to this creature:

thinking alittle to hard
Me thinks there's a strange likeness.

Next, did u notice that the whole ambience of the movie feels different from the first two? I certainly felt different when I watched this movie. It didn't feel the same. This point is hard to explain so I don't expect you to understand. :P

Next, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, directed by Mike Newell.

Sigh, once again, the wind effect. What is with these people? Try a different approach for goodness sake. You dare to change the movie so much from the previous three but when it comes to picture time, you decide to remain orthodox, not that the first two movies used this effect, but STILL ... once is bliddy enough!

So what was wrong with this movie? Everything! Every single thing! From the beginning where Harry wakes up in Ron's house to the end where the other schools depart from Hogwarts. Where do I start? Let's start with the prominent mistakes made by the creators, or rather, the director, since he takes all the credit for the movie.

Let's talk about Professor Moody. A little bit too much don't you think? When I watched the movie I couldn't help but think "Is he on crack?" I mean, did you see the way he was acting? He wasn't growling, he was shouting! Shouting at students and throwing chalk at them. Growling is something, but shouting is taking it too far. Acting roughly with students also is taking too far. But they equalised this with him being a total lunatic (SPOILER) at the end so they think it is okay. But I do not.

When Moody made his entrance in the Great Hall, there was thunder in the sky. Upon seeing this, he points his wand to the sky and casts some crap to it and the thunder goes away. Uh... relevance? None? Yes.

And since when does Hermione have the nerve to shout at a teacher?

"Stop it! Can't you see its bothering him? STOP IT!"

She shouted at Professor Moody when he was torturing the spider and simultaneously causing Neville uneasiness. Tsk tsk Hermione. She should have been put in detention. Firstly for shouting at a teacher, and secondly for refusing to answer his question about the last Unforgivable Curse. Bitch.

Secondly, why does Professor Moody say "Professor Sprout tells me you have a knack for Herbology" when Neville puts up his hand to asnwer a question? What? Did I hear you answer "Because that's the style of incompetent scriptwriters who simply love to include irrelevant lines in the films?" Correct.

"Eternal glory. That's what awaits the student who wins the Triwizard Tournament." These were the words of Professor Dumbledore when addressing the students at the start-of-term feast. So the student who wins this tournament will be forever happy and joyful eh? Then why does Cedric Diggory get killed despite winning the Triwizard Cup in the end? And when I say win, I mean he got past all the obstacles and managed to get the Cup which was located in the middle of the maze (the object of the Third Task). So he touched the Cup, got transported to a graveyard and was killed by Death Eaters or possibly the most evil dark wizard of all time, Lord Voldemort (this wasn't explained). If that is how one attains eternal glory, boy, I'd rather stay miserable for the rest of my life. But hey, Cedric could be up in heaven enjoying his eternal glory right now couldn't he? Bless his soul.

Here's another thing. Did anyone notice that only the people who we saw put their names into the Goblet of Fire (not including Harry and Fleur) were chosen as Triwizard champions? Also not including Fred and George whose applications were rejected due to their being underage and all. Did you see anyone else put their names into the Goblet? I think not. Even Krum who put his name into the Goblet with Karkaroff beside him did it by himself. None of his other schoolmates put their names into the Goblet. Could the makers of the movie not show more people putting their names into the Goblet? No they could not. Why? Incompetency.

What's with the dance rehearsal with Professor McGonagall eh? McGonagall is actually teaching the Gryffindor students how to dance. Once again, this is a question of relevancy. Yes? No.

The next movie is Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix directed by David Yates.

Sigh......... what can I say about this movie? The fighting scenes were awesome! The first time i saw it I was in awe... Kudos Mr. Yates.

But like all the others, there were mistakes here and there. I think I have highlighted some of these mistakes in my other posts. So there's no need for me to mention them here.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows are disasters waiting to happen. And you bet your bucks I'll be there to report it if they are. :D

Coming up:
We'll see what I can come up with

Sunday, 11 May 2008

I hate the Harry Potter Movies: Part Troix

Okay we're into Part Three of my 'I hate the Harry Potter movies' posts. Here are more lines.

Harry Potter: [to Dumbledore] LOOK AT ME!... What's happening to me?
Oh boo hoo Harry Potter. Like, grow a pair. *rolls eyes*

Lord Voldemort: [to Dumbledore] You've lost, old man.
Harry Potter: [to Voldemort] You're the weak one. And you'll never know love,or friendship. And I feel sorry for you.
Albus Dumbledore: [looking down at Harry that is being tortured by Voldemort in his mind] Harry... It's not how you are alike. It's how you are not...
*sigh* Let me just ask this. Voldemort is possessing Harry is he not? So why does Harry have to ability to control his speech? Hmm? No, I refuse to accept your answer because it is invalid. Next, Voldemort is in the middle of torturing Harry and suddenly Dumbledore hops in and makes a smart ass comment like that. Where is the damn relevance? Hello ...?

Lucius Malfoy: [walking with Bellatrix slowly up to Harry] Haven't you always wondered what was the reason for the connection between you and the Dark Lord. Why he was unable to kill you when you were just an infant. Don't you want to know the secret, of your scar. All of the answers are there, Potter, in your hand. All you have to do is give it to me, I can show you everything.
Ehem ... Excuse me? The secret of your scar? He knows the secret of his scar thank you very much Mr Malfoy. It was explained by the original Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. It's called retrospect. Look into it.

Albus Dumbledore: [after Sirius' death] I know how you feel, Harry.
Harry Potter: No you don't.
Harry Potter: It's my fault.
Albus Dumbledore: No, the fault is mine. I knew it was only a matter of time before Voldemort made the connection between you. I thought by distancing myself from you, as I have done all year, he'd be less tempted and therefore you might be more protected.
Harry Potter: The prophecy said neither one can live while the other one survives. It means one of us is going to have to kill the other, in the end.
Albus Dumbledore: Yes.
Harry Potter: Why didn't you tell me?
Albus Dumbledore: For the same reason you tried to save Sirius. For the same reason your friends saved you. After all these years, after all you've suffered, I didn't want to cause you any more pain. I cared too much about you.
I was just so upset with this scene. So bliddy upset! I was expecting some shouting, screaming, crying, or at least some breaking china. This scene was supposed to be the most powerful scene of the movie as the tension between these two characters was so high; anyone who has read the book will know what I mean. *sniffs*

So Dumbledore thought he was "protecting Harry" is it? He thought "distancing" himself from Harry will make Voldemort "less tempted" to use Harry? Exactly how does that logic fit into perspective? Voldemort wants Harry. The "connection" between the both of them allows Voldemort to access Harry's thoughts. This will allow Voldemort to use Harry in any way, which in time can also be the cause for Harry's death by Voldemort. Did you see Dumbledore's name anywhere in the picture? No. Thus Dumbledore is nothing but an obstacle to Voldemort in his efforts to get Harry, and by "distancing" himself from Harry, as he has done "all year", he has actually given Voldemort the green light to do what ever he wanted with Harry. Bad Dumbledore. (just to remind your good self, I am speaking in terms of the movie)

Next, Harry asked Dumbledore why did he not tell him (Harry) about the prophecy. Dumbledore answers that he cared too much about Harry. That had got to be the biggest lie I have ever seen anyone say with a straight face. If he cared about Harry, he would have told Harry about the prophecy, about the "connection" between him (Harry) and Voldemort, about the Order of the Phoenix and their plans, and everything else including the ... er ... secret of his scar. But he did not, did he? He kept Harry in the dark about everything throughout the summer and throughout the year, in fact, unless something were to happen and he was forced to tell Harry about it. ( "Oh Harry, you saw Ron's father being attacked by gigantic serpent? Well now is the time for me to tell you that you and Voldemort have a connection. Mm-hmm *nods* don't look at me that way boy; these things happen" ) PFFT.

Now we know one fact: Dumbledore never cared for Harry in the first place. He treated Harry like dirt throughout the year and I will tell you the reason for this. He was pissed at Harry because when he believed Harry and told the everyone about Voldemort's return, people called him a lunatic and called him a nutter, and he lost all this high positions in the Ministry of Magic. So because of all this, he treated Harry badly and told him lies. The only truth he ever spoke to Harry was when he said "No, the fault is mine." That much I can tell you.

Coming up:
Potter 3, 4, 5: Ruined or destroyed?

Friday, 9 May 2008

I hate the Harry Potter movies: Part Deux

So . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Here are more lines from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix which i find to be just plain ridiculous.

Hermione Granger: You've done it, Neville! You've found the Room of Requirement!

Ron Weasley: The what?

Hermione Granger: It's also known as the Come and Go Room. The Room of Requirement only appears when a person has real need of it, and is always equipped with the seeker's needs.

Ron Weasley: So, say you really needed a toilet...

Hermione Granger: Charming, Ronald. But yes, that is the general idea.

Harry Potter: It's brilliant! It's like Hogwarts wants us to fight back!

Right. In case you are wondering this excerpt is from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Right, so straight into it. Who can spot the stupidity of one of the lines here? I can. Take a look at the very last line. What does Harry Potter say? "It's like Hogwarts wants us to fight back!" Oh really? Then why did it allow Professor Umbridge to blast a hole through it's door to find you in it? Can't answer? Well then, you suck.

Look, the Room of Requirement is a special room in Hogwarts that changes itself to fit the needs and whims of people who are passing it. So "if you need a toilet" and you are happening to pass this room, then the room will fill itself with chamber pots (something I read from the book) XD. And lil ol' Hermione said that it is known as the "come and go" room. Right. If she knew that, how come she didn't mention it in the first place? They were looking for a secret place were they not? And it is a secret place where they can practice is it not? So why did she not think about it? Hmm? And here she is acting like it doesn't exists when she actually knew about it long ago.
The real story is Harry was informed about the Room of Requirement by Dobby the house elf. Dobby said that the Room of Requirement is known as "The Come and Go" Room among the house elfs. In the movie Hermione knew the Room as the Come and Go room. Hmm ... oh my ... could Hermione be a house elf??

Anyway that is not my point. It's far from my point. I'm not here to condemn the book. I'm here to condemn the movies. Now moving on to Dumbledore.

Originally, Dumbledore was played by the late Richard Harris, who really was as old as he looked.


I must say, Richard Harris played the role of Albus Dumbledore exceptionally well. He acted old, he had long, white hair and had a rough, aged voice. He carried himself nicely and made it believable that Dumbledore was really old and frail.

Sadly, Richard Harris passed away leaving the producers of Harry Potter in a bit of a conundrum as to what to do about the role of Dumbledore. However as big a problem as that is, giving the role of Albus Dumbledore to Michael Gambon was a horrible crime and they should be prosecuted for it. He simply is NOT Dumbledore material. He showed no trace of the Dumbledore that we saw in the two previous movies. He did not even try to be the previous (and not to mention, better) Dumbledore. He just played the part the way he liked. That is so not kool. Seriously. Want to know how the two Dumbledores were different? Well firstly take a look at their pictures.

So the first picture is of Richard Harris as Dumbledore. The second one is of Michael Gambon. My, my Dumbledore has had a hair cut hasn't he? *sighs*

Another difference between the new Dumbledore and the original one is that the Richard Harris was given heavier robes to wear. This made it hard for him to walk and that is why it seemed like he had a difficult time to walk. But the robe was what made it (the character's appearance) more effective! *sighs*

Let me point out his mistakes. Michael Gambon was given light robes to wear. This made him look like an old man wearing ladies' nightgown. Seriously. =.= Secondly, Michael Gambon was far too aggressive for a man his age. (Dumbledore looked like he was in his thirties or forties fifty years ago. You do the math) Want proof? Let me direct your attention to the scene in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire where Dumbledore screams Harry's name out loud when his (Harry's) name came out of the Goblet. Which seventy or eighty year old man screams with that kind of voice, hmm? Then, shortly after that, he storms into the room where Harry and the other champions were waiting, grabbed Harry by the collar and asked him if he put his name into the Goblet or not. Sigh, and here we thought Dumbledore was a calm and collected man. Michael Gambon was simply NOT the right choice LAH. He was absolutely the WRONG choice for the role of Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore! You see what U-know-who-i-am put in my cbox on the right? "DO NOT INSULT DUMBLEDORE." And I am just sad that they chose the wrong actor for the part and very sad that the original actor for the part didn't make it (if you get my drift).

Why couldn't Michael Gambon just copy Richard Harris' style in portraying Dumbledore?? Why?? Why could he have not done so? He wouldn't have lost anything would he? But if he did follow he will be remembered as the man who was able to keep the Harry Potter saga going on perfectly without any flaws (but it wouldn't have made any difference anyway, refer to my next post). Man I hope i don't get sued for this.

Dumbledore icon


dance Dumbledore

Dumbledore icon


Coming up:
Potter 3, 4, and 5: Ruined or Improved?

Wednesday, 7 May 2008

I hate the Harry Potter movies

Irony and Sarcasm

Okay I am officially pissed, not that I wasn't before. But I'm just mad that the Harry Potter movies are simply sucky! How can J.K Rowling sit back and watch those imcompetent fools produce a movie that lacks ... er ... the true essence of Harry Potter? I'm sorry Yvonne, but I just have to blog about this. I can't take it, blogging about stuff that I like; I don't really have a reason for liking anything.

It's 2.19am in the morning and I'm too tired to elaborate. But let me give examples of lines from the movies that I can remember which just SUCKED.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Lord Voldemort: (to Harry) You will lose everything ...

Er ... Did I miss something here? He will lose everything? Let's see. Voldemort killed his parents, was the cause of him being tortured by his uncle and aunt, caused him to live 11 years as a sad little boy, caused hell for him at the end of every school year, made him famous (something he hates), and on top of that, wants to kill him. How much more can a person lose? That has got to be the most ridiculous line in the world, not to mention making that line the tagline for the movie. Damn. You will lose everything. "Like I haven't lost enough" should be the proper reply by that teenage delinquent who seems incapable of expressing his feelings in the movie. Which brings me to the next point.

(Repetition of the earlier points) Harry Potter lost his parents. He lives with his horrible aunt and uncle who made the first 11 years of his life horrible and the consequent summers even more so. He has to face shit in school every time the school term starts. Let's review:

First Year:
  1. Curious students try to get a good view of his scar all the effin time.
  2. School students hate him because he lost 150 points for his house when he tried to help someone. (Oh wait this is not mentioned in the movie is it?)
  3. Professor Quirrel tries to kill him because Voldemort (who happens to be possessing Quirrel) wants the Philosopher/Sorcerer's stone.
  4. He has to face all sorts of obstacles to get to the Philosopher/Sorcerer's stone so that humanity does not have to suffer the rise of Lord Voldemort.
  5. Snape (this goes without saying.
Second Year:
  1. Snape.
  2. He can hear voices which others cannot.
  3. He has to cope with a bitch teacher who keeps showing off and making Harry look like an idiot.
  4. A stalker. (thats all I'm gonna say)
  5. He finds out he is a Parselmouth (he can talk to snakes) which means he could be an ancestor of Salazar Slytherin.
  6. He was suspected of being the Heir of Slytherin.
  7. Woe be him, the students of the school hate him again.
  8. He finds a strange diary that shows him that his friend could be a killer.
  9. He tries to prove his friend's innocence by finding the truth but instead ends up fighting a huge serpent in a huge drain under the school. (hey, it IS a drain, so to speak)
  10. Finds out he somehow has a connection with the man who killed his parents and started this shit in the first place.
Third Year
  1. Someone is out to kill him.
  2. People are not telling him that someone is out to kill him.
  3. Hermione has a new cat. (not relevant, but that cat is a pain in the ass)
  4. Dementors. Vicious creatures that love to suck the happiness out of him.
  5. He has to take new classes, one which includes a teacher who's hell bent on predicting his death, and another which involves a biting book.
  6. He has to deal with his Dementor problem.
  7. He is humiliated by his Dementor problem because of Malfoy.
  8. Malfoy's existence.
  9. Snape's existence.
  10. Hagrid's lack of confidence in teaching thanks to Malfoy.
  11. Buckbeak's trial.
  12. The Quidditch Final.
  13. He loses a match against *gulp* Hufflepuff.
  14. His broken broomstick.
  15. His new broomstick which was sent by an anonymous person.
  16. His new broomstick was confiscated by Professor McGonagal because she thinks she is his momma and can order him around and take whatever that belongs to him.
  17. He has to deal with the fact that Sirius Black was the cause of his parents' death.
  18. Sirius Black is his godfather.
  19. Sirius Black was friends with his father.
  20. Peter Pettrigrew actually was the cause of his parents' death.
  21. Lupin is a werewolf.
  22. Lupin is an ugly werewolf (in the movie).
  23. More of Snape.
  24. Lupin quits as Defence teacher.
Fourth Year
  1. Voldemort's supporters are doing strange shit.
  2. Hermione's constant rants about elf rights.
  3. His scar is always prickling.
  4. His godfather's whereabouts and safety.
  5. Cedric Diggory.
  6. The Triwizard Tournament, which he was chosen for.
  7. The poor god-forsaken boy is hated by his schoolmates again.
  8. He is hated by Ron.
  9. Hermione is a boring friend to be with.
  10. Rita Skeeter keeps pushing his buttons.
  11. He is embarrassed because the newspaper keeps publishing him in good light.
  12. Someone at Hogwarts is trying to kill him.
  13. He needs to find a date for the ball.
  14. Cho is going with Cedric to the ball.
  15. The First Task.
  16. Solving the riddle of the egg.
  17. Being naked in one bathtub with Moaning Myrtle (Oh the horror!).
  18. Professor Moody's weirdness is off the scale.
  19. Snape and Malfoy's existence. (as usual)
  20. The Second Task.
  21. Dobby is working at Hogwarts. (just when he thought he was done with that darn elf)
  22. Hagrid is half-giant and refuses to come out because he is a sissy and cannot suck it up.
  23. Rita Skeeter is getting inside information on his life at Hogwarts.
  24. Someone is still trying to kill him.
  25. People think he and Hermione are dating.
  26. Mr Crouch's sudden appearance in the school grounds.
  27. Ludo Bagman's kepoci-ness.
  28. The Third Task.
  29. Cedric's death.
  30. The rebirth of Voldemort.
  31. Fighting Voldemort and about a dozen Death Eaters.
  32. Running away from the graveyard and back to Hogwarts.
  33. He is beat because of the terrible ordeal he had been through that night.
  34. One of the teachers turned out to be the one trying to kill him.
  35. Hidden secrets which he would have preferred not knowing.
  36. Facts he hates to deal with.
Fifth Year
  1. Puberty and his short-tempered character.
  2. Being expelled.
  3. If I continue I will never get some sleep ... let us leave it at that.
So, with all this bottled up inside him, you'd think that he would at least see a shrink every once in a while. But that's not the point. I hope u have not forgotten the point. The point is, he should a sad, sad motherfcuker. But in the movie he has a straight face, no matter where he is. Occasinally he will show an emotion or two by smiling and looking a little worried. Speaking of emotions, his friends (and I quote Hermione from the book, "has the emotional range of a teaspoon," all put together, if I may add. Want an example? Okay. When Harry is possessed by Voldemort in the Ministry of Magic in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, his friends come up and find him there, on the floor, writhing in agony, and they just look upon him, sadly (or was it a concentrating stare?). *rolls eyes*

ron weasley

I have alot more to say about the Harry Potter Movies. However all cannot be expressed in this post. So I'll see you in another post.

Coming up:
Dumbledore: Fake much?