Tuesday, 20 January 2009

Today I...

...was nearly mugged.

Yeah, don't get your hopes up.

The fellow was stupid enough to snap my fake gold chain, then turn around while he rode away and shrug at me with a stupid straight face no less. Urgh, those shoulders are coming off one day. Mark my words.

We were both on bikes, I on the way home after buying some lunch, and he on the way to his doom. I saw my rear view mirror and noticed some clown coming closer to me. There I was thinking "Oh look some guy is gonna touch my shoulder; this should be fun." He felt the back of my neck, held the chain and snapped it, then moved forward. He turned back at me and looked at me with his pathetic face, daring me to chase him, or give some response. All I could see was that he did not have the chain, it was still on my neck. He kept looking at me, gestured as if asking me what my problem was, and pointed to the next exit. Then he went on his merry way. Dumbass.

You're probably wondering what I was doing in the middle of all this. I was staring back at him wondering "WHAT? Who IS this guy? Is he a snatch theif? If he is a snatch theif, why is he looking at me like that, and not running away? WHAT? Is he someone I know? If it is, then who could it be? How could he recognize me from the back and with my helmet on? WHAT? Should I follow him? I don't know who he is, what is gonna happen? WHAT? OMG I just got mugged! No, wait, nearly mugged! Why the hell did he snap my chain and go away? Is my pendant still intact? WHAT? This is the suck. Wow I just got mugged. No, just nearly got mugged."


All Miss Dicentra had to say about it was "I dont know what's funnier, the fact that you wear a fake gold chain or the guy could not snatch it."

We have a new crime folks: Snatching Heretic and Incompetency Theft (SHIT). It involves cases where incompetent snatch theifs go around destroying the possessions of people which they would usually snatch because they are just inept at it or they do not want to conform the practice of mugging but prefer to break/destroy the items. SHITing is now a crime. Thou shall not SHIT.

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