I am just extremely mad. Okay, lighten up Yvonne, I'm angry at myself, not anyone else. Gahh! The thing is, I really want to tell someone this, but I cannot see... The people I tell either will think I'm too perasan or stupid. The only person I CAN tell aint here. So I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. My next option - I thought - would be to write it in my darling blog. But still.... the idea seems so atrocious. Oh what the hell, I'll do it.
I AM FURIOUS WITH MYSELF. Disappointed, mad, angry, and all the synonymous words. Okay let me tell you why.
You see, I got 8As and 2Bs in my SPM exam. Sure, I should be happy with my achievement. But I'm not. This is particularly because I did not study for this exam. There, you may call me perasan now. Hmph..
Seriously, I did NOT study for this exam. What I mean to say is that I took it lightly and studied only a little bit, if you can call that 'little bit' studying ... God, I'm so furious with myself! If I had just been more serious about my life I would have done better and who knows where I would be now!
Alrighty-witey, I'm pretty sure you readers don't believe me when I say that I didn't study. Ok, let me describe to you my daily activities before the SPM examination. *ehem*
I used to wake up at 5.30am and leave for school by 6.30am. I would be home by 2.00pm in the afternoon. Then I will have my lunch and at 3.00pm I would pick my brother up from school. By the time I reached home, I would be 3.30pm. Obviously I would be tired so I sleep until 5.00pm, wake up and watch my favourite TV shows until 7.00pm. Then I take my bath and have my dinner and watch more television. By then, it would be 9.00pm. Guess what I did then.. Yes I studied. But.................. I would stop when my mom goes to sleep. She sleeps at 11.00pm usually so I used to go downstairs and watch television till late at night. This was how my life was. My parents confiscated my laptop earlier in the year due to my bad results for the first assessment. So yes, reader, there you have it.
Does that sound like someone who studied to you? Hmm??? Now I hope you understand why I am so furious with myself. If only I had just studied harder, just a little harder, I would have done very well. But I didn't. I did not. Because my stupid think headed self was just too stupid to understand the fact that the SPM was a major examination. God, I'm so furious with myself !!!
So just recently I had a talking-to with myself. This is what I have decided:
"I promise to never never never never ever take anything lightly and always always always take my studies seriously"
So there it is. I have repented. Never again will I be apathetic towards my studies. I will always study hard and achieve good results. Ah, I feel better. And for those out there who think I am a perasan, well, I don't give a fuck. :D
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