Alone

I had a fabulous idea while I was starving in class today.

Pizza for dinner. Royal Masala with extra cheese from Pizza Hut. Ouh joy! The ultimate food orgasm.

It was the perfect plan. Nobody would be home tonight; I was gonna be alone. I'd order the pizza, sit cozily on my couch and just slowly eat my delicious meal. It sounded like an excellent plan in my head.

But, (yes there's a but, the ever recurring bane on my life) I can't. Apparently it's too unhealthy for me to eat pizza. So yes I'm suffering here in hunger.

This pizza represents everything else in my life that I've ever wanted: the so-called unattainables. You may call me crazy. But while you have your awesome dinner I'm sitting here in starvation and depression and quite frankly irritation. Oh and unsatisfaction (if there even is such a word; I can't summon the energy to find a suitable word).

Everything I ever want in life is just passing me by, throwing tomatoes at my face and mocking me. The people, the chances, the food. The food. Oh the food. The pain. It hurts too much to think that I can't have my pizza. Like I said, you may call me crazy. But you are obviously not a food lover if you do.

I live to eat. Food was the only thing in my life that stayed with me. The only thing that accompanied me as I wallowed in depression, and as I rejoiced in ecstasy. Nothing else gives me the same satisfaction as a sandwich does when I chew on it. Nothing.

Now even that has been taken away from me. I cannot vent. I cannot celebrate. Food is leaving me too. I am but one person and only one. (Don't laugh. That line sounded awesome in my head)

I am alone.