Lessons

Let me teach all of you something I just recently learned.

For those of you who believe in karma, this will help you burn all your past karma.

For those of you who don't believe in karma, this will help you release all the feelings you've had towards people in the past or in the present.

But keep in mind that you need to mean all these things.

Step 1
Write this down (or in my case, for convenience, type it out)

I seek forgiveness:
1. From , for .
2.
3.
And so on. Trust me this will be a very very very long list. I'm already up to 64 things, and this is only for the past few days. Be very specific in what you're asking for. And it's okay to repeat the same person's name many times, with different reasons for asking for forgiveness.

Step 2
Once again, write this down (or in my case, for convenience, type it out)

I forgive:
1. , for .
2.
3.
And so on. You must include actions by those people whom you were offended by before but shrugged off. It's important because this will make you sure of the excess baggage you're trying to remove from yourself. Once again, be specific.

Now, you are ready to forgive and be forgiven. You should feel better about yourself after you've done this because you've come to terms with yourself and others, even though they don't know it. But you've already planted the seed of thought, that is, to be forgiven by them, and they will forgive you through their actions. It's the Law of Attraction at work.

And even if you don't believe in this, at least you've let your feelings out onto something solid which you can see clearly. You can see clearly where you stand and where others stand for you. This is a great step in forgiving others and forgiving yourself.

Accomplishment

Yes! Finally done with Business Law assignment! Yay~

That feeling of accomplishment was quickly followed by a need to go home and sleep, therefore missing Business Law tutorial along the way. xD

I wanna thank a few people who helped in the completion of this assignment, for without them this assignment would have been left in my hands, and everyone knows how badly I can screw up. :)

Chin Yean - You were awesome at editing and compiling the Introduction, Body, and Conclusion of the assignment. It was awesome work.

Soon Teck - You were awesome at finding the journals from libraries and online resources and starting the whole assignment. It was awesome research.

Jia Hao - You were awesome at coming up with the two general questions which we eventually broke down further into three or four questions, and also at sporadically checking in on the progress of the assignment. It was awesome hearing from you every three or four days.

I-Jiao - You were awesome at staying out of our way and laying low until the day of submission itself. It was awesome nonparticipation.

and mostly thanks to:

Anna - You were awesome at reminding me about what to do, where to go, how to do, when to do, who to see, and helping me with the drafts of the interview questions and answers, and taking charge when things started getting haywire. It was just simply absolutely awesome.

Dr Roy - You were awesome at being the selected consumer for our interview, giving us answers that were simple to understand and remember and easy to write down, and being patient with our haphazardness. It was awesome respondent work.

and I would NOT like to thank:

The Lecturer - You were awesome at finding an impossible task. Let's hope you don't stop there and decide that this is too much of trouble for your future students. I assure you, they deserve to be punished as much as we did.

The Lawyer - You were simply awesome at not being found and contacted. You have awesome dependence issues.

Wow, a bloody Oscar speech. Well this assignment really got me worried for many weeks okay, despite all the avoiding and sleeping on which I managed to do with the work.

It's over. Let's hope we get an A. Gambateh.

Inhumanity

I don't understand humans. I understand their carnivorous needs. I get that they like eating meat. I myself don't mind being a vegetarian, but I don't live in a conducive enough environment.

BUT what I don't understand is their evil exploitation of animals so the humans can get the best out of the animals.

I just read an email about how ducks are treated so get enhanced livers to make succulent foie gras. I think its despicable. The ducks are force fed so that their livers will become enlarged, leading to a "tastier" dish of foie gras. The ducks are literally held by their beaks and fed food through a metal pipe non stop. Non fucking stop. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE.

Can't they just rear these ducks and geese in a nice farm with a lot of land and ponds? Can't they let the animals roam free on the land? And then when you want to eat them, kill em la. You don't have to lock these poor animals up and torture them?

Why do humans treat animals like they mean nothing? We ARE NOT SUPERIOR, in contrast to what humans believe. One natural disaster is all it takes to destroy all our lives at one go. Just because we are better built, physically and mentally, we think that we are SUPERIOR to animals? We are not superior, and they are not inferior. We are just made different from them. We, like them, are unique in our own way.

We do not have the right to exploit the animal kingdom for our benefit.

Just last week I saw a snake, a huge ass snake, trying to cross the road to get the jungle opposite its own which was being torn down for *surprise, surprise* housing projects.

I live in Bukit Antarabangsa. More than a year ago, a big landslide caused damage to property, lives and great inconvenience to the residents. Since the incident in December 2008, they have not even finished properly sorting out the place. And they've already started building homes at the foot of the hill?! What happened to the loss of consumer confidence in the exclusive hillside housing area after the landslide? What happened to the refusal of banks to provide loans on houses in Bukit Antarabangsa? What happened to people being scared to live in such an area?

Boy, humans sure are resilient, I can tell you that.

Change

I've come a long way. I really have. And that's something to be proud of. But:

When I look back at how I was when I left high school, I can't compare myself now with then. I was so different back then. Fresh out of school, naive, no idea what lies in store for me.

Now it's been a meager two years and I have changed so much. Maybe the term "changed" wouldn't do me justice. I've learned a lot I guess.

It's hard to believe that the people whom I used to have daily conversations with, those whom I used to depend on to get me out of boredom, are strangers to me now. I actually have to force a conversation between us. It's hard to believe.

I thought time was supposed to have healing properties. The separation we had should have been enough to grant us topics of conversation. Instead we are left in awkward moments where it's obvious we no longer have anything in common.

What is it about me that has changed so much? I don't know.

Firehouse

Thank you Ellana for recommending Fireman (I really mean Fireproof) to me. It was a nice movie :D:D

Firehydrant is about a man named Caleb who's a total jerk to his wife. He demands respect, which she refuses to give unless he shows her some, which he doesn't. So yeah the wife files for divorce and Caleb tries to save their marriage through a 40-day experiment called The Love Dare.

What Caleb does isn't out-of-this-world, fun-TAS-tick stuff that leaves you in awe. No, in The Love Dare, he just does simple stuff that (for unromantic people like me) would seem like nothing. But the effect of the little actions is worth it, because as all cliched movies go, there is a happy ending. Go figure.

You need to watch it to appreciate the little things in life you do that matters to others. And also to know that marriage is hard fucking work.

And faith can also help pull you in the right direction because, really, who are we if we don't have a little faith in something?

Firestation is an awesome movie :D

Freedom

Most of the time I look at other people and compare myself to them. When I do this I end up becoming depressed. Why? Because I compare what's good about their life that I wish was mine. This longing to have the life others have was stupid. People have been telling me that for years, but I never saw that logic.

See, I was brought up to compare myself to others. There was always a right way to do things and a wrong way to do things. There was always something wrong with people and there was always something right about them. Living in conditions like these I ended up looking at the world objectively, with a specific way of living that I knew I didn't and never would have.

This feeling was excess baggage for me, someone once told me. I was carrying all this with me that it shows up in the form of insecurities and, sad to say, a certain degree of fake. I was never truly myself; I played different characters depending on where and with whom I was. This isn't to say that I lost my identity, no. This story isn't as far fetched as that.

I became an insecure, indecisive, faker who was void of a backbone. I couldn't defend my own beliefs, because I had none. I couldn't make decisions on simple matters, because everything seemed to have a flaw in them. I was afraid to make a decision because I felt that I might have been wrong and worse, judged by others.

So basically, I never really appreciated the value of what I had in front of me. Friends, things, situations, chances, etc. There always seemed to be a better option which I did not have.

By posting this tonight, I am setting myself free. It will not be easy. Nineteen years of self deprecation is not an easy habit to get rid of. But I will try.

And I do appreciate everything that I have. For the fortunes that favour me, for the friends who accept me, and for the opportunities I have that others don't.

And at the risk of sounding absolutely cliche, I have this to say: I am me.

How awesome is Alexander The Greatest? lol.

Un-awesome. He can't be awesome because he's The Greatest. Sudhan is and always will be the awesome one. :D

What do you want to know? Ask and you shall receive.