Dislike

I think my Japanese Language lecturer hates me.

Seriously. He hates my guts.

It's not normal for a teacher to hate my guts, because I'm too fabulous a student for that to happen.

However, lately I've been too lazy for anything, that is to say, lazy to study as well. So I'm not progressing in Japanese. And me thinks he doesn't like that, since I'm forgetting what he's just taught like a few minutes ago.

Well obviously, if they expect us to cram into our heads Hiragana and Katakana on top of all the Probability & Statistics, Calculus, and not to forget Programming that we have to do. Some people however seem to be doing well. But screw them; life doesn't revolve around them. Life revolves around me. :)

You should see the look my Japanese lecturer gives me. It's a look of loathing. I tell you, we have a pure Snape and Harry relationship going.

And the cherry on top of the cake is the fact that my group has three people, when "It's supposed to be four in a group" and he "wants to disqualify" us from presenting. Uh, lemme get it straight. He want's to stop us from handing in the assignment for which we are paying to do in the first place?

But in the end, the other lecturer told him that it's okay for us to present in threes. He wasn't happy though. Which was why he avoided my eye the whole lesson, except when he asked me questions.

"Repeat what he said," sensei told me, after a guy had just finished telling his birthday and his age, all in Japanese.

"Er...can you repeat that?" I ask the guy.

Sensei's eyes widen in horror as I speak English. Apparently he'd been saying that phrase in Japanese the whole time and I missed it.

"Er...moichiro onegai shimasu?" I repeat.

He relaxes. That's a good sign.

He's coming to my table. That's a bad sign.

"Did you do the homework?"

"Er... I wrote my own birthday, so I dunno what he said," I reply.

He purses his lips and goes away. God, I wish I didn't screw up all the time.

Later it's my turn to read my birthday out to everyone. And I do it well, I must add.

Sensei listens with his eyes closed. Oh no, he hates me that much?! Damn.

When I'm done, he opens his eyes and says "Okay." Then he turns to the rest of the class and points at me. "Good pronunciation," he says with...with... wait. Does he look impressed?!

Well! I always knew I had it in me. Which is why I always liked him very much... Did I tell you how much he likes me...?

Adrenaline

When I went to Gentings on Sunday I realised that I have a fear of heights and of speed. It never struck me before that the squeamish feeling I get in my stomach and the fits my legs get into when I'm in a fast moving object in mid air is actually a phobia.

I had a lot of time to think about this while waiting to get onto the Pirate Ship, a ride that swings from side to side. Now, from below it didn't look scary. I was actually laughing at a woman who was screaming herself shitless while being rocked to and fro at about 70mph.

But only when I got on it, and it started rocking, did I start feeling squeamish. My stomach felt like it was convoluting and my right leg would stop twitching. However I did not feel scared.

Maybe the reason it didn't affect me so much was because I got on with the mindset that it wasn't scary, but my body thought otherwise. I don't know how this fits into perspective in reality. I don't have an explanation.

This is what happens when you get an adrenaline rush from even thinking of a snake. Hyperphobia.

Resolutions

It's already July. Half the year has passed and I just took a look at the resolutions I made this year.

In 2009, I resolve to:

1. Take an interest in the outside world.

That was a very swanky way of saying "To read the newspapers more often." No, hasn't been achieved. Unless you count reading the comics and a pathetic attempt at the Sudoku puzzles once in a while as "reading the newspaper." But never mind, still 5 months to go. Anything can happen.

2. Forgive, forgive, forgive

I think I was feeling too forgiving on this particular day. It so happens I'm in a situation where I can't forgive. Not right now. Sorry.

3. Find myself, my inner self.

What was I in, a cult? I'm scratching this off.

4. Heal more

Apparently, I can make people feel better. :)

5. Swear and curse less, because less is more. :)

Hah. I never could walk the talk. Unachievable.

6. Be for the glory, not the degradation.

I think I got this off a book. I don't think I know what it means anymore.

Okay I know what it means, it's just that I've so involved in degradation and glory, they sort of balance out, you know what I mean? Still working on it.

7. Make a difference to the people around me.

Make a difference? Gosh, I must have recovered from a bad case of insecurity or something. Everyone loves me. I'm totally fabulous. I don't need to make a difference. Scratch.

8. Lose excess baggage.

It so happens that I've gained. 5 little ones. Damn. (see? unachievable) But I'm still going to be headstrong about this i.e. jogging in the morning!

9. Be more spontaneous.

Now this is something I'm sure I have achieved! :D Yay me.

10. Go bungee jumping.

Holy hell! Double scratch. Isn't it obvious I had not been to Gentings then?

So all-in-all, it's been a not so productive year, resolution-achieving wise. But who the hell cares? I'll take life as it goes by and see what happens. :)

Gentings

Holy hell. When you've seen the Space Shot ride, I guess you've seen it all.

I AM NEVER GOING BUNGEE JUMPING

What the F man?! Who the hell goes on such a ride?!

Koen Eyck, thats who. Twice, no less.

***

It all started this morning, when I woke up at 11.30am. This is late for me. Very late. 4 hours late. Anyway, I only had time to change, stuff breakfast down, send something over to a friend's house, and then leave for Gentings (which apparently, is alot of time).

Which is bloody why we reached the place at friggin 2.30pm. Had we not taken the cable car, we'd have been there by like, I dunno, 1? Go figure.

The cable car station place thingy was like full of people. Why these people choose to use the cable car when they have huge bulging bags and babies to carry is beyond me. I mean, i counted about a zillion buses everywhere, from Gombak itself.

So yeah we had to endure (and I put alot of emphasis on this word) in the line. Picture crying babies and parents with prams, and the like. After waiting for approximately 15 minutes in the line we reach a sign that read:

"Waiting time from this point onwards: 30 minutes"

Wow, really? That's it? Pfft.

I made myself feel better by looking back at the beginning of the line while thinking to myself "At least we're not there", but this particular mindset was stomped on by a huge voice at the back of my head shouting "But we're not there (the end of the line) either."

If you ever do figure out my mind, let me know. ;)

***

Basically it was a typical day in Gentings. Didn't feel all that special, considering the fact that I had not been there in like 9 years. Yeah, that long.

Nothing special there folks (I'm totally ignoring the Space Shot ride btw). The Corkscrew and Flying-something rides were closed, and they charged us RM44 to utilise the rendered-useless Gentings themeparks without those 2 particular rides.

But I did eat cotton candy and turn round and round in a giant teacup till I was dizzy. :)

***

By the end of the trip, I realised something. Or make that 2 things. I have a fear of heights and of speed (and of water, snakes, death, and being thrown overboard from a sinking ship, but those are irrelevant aren't they?).

Seriously.

Tired

Hello.

Here's how my day went.

I slept at 3am, studying (or at least trying to) for the Discrete Mathematics test at 9am. I vaguely remember my conversation with someone at that time.

Sudhan: Hey! It's like 3am weh. My test is at 9am weh. And I can't study weh. 6 hours to go. Die.

Someone: Good luck :)

Sudhan: Bitch.

I woke up at 7 friggin 30 in the morning, afraid that I was going to be late for the test. See, Mr. Koay specifically said to be early.

Test started at 8.50am and finished at 9.50am. All I can say is that it was do-able. Do-able.

Then I has errands to run. Typical Saturday morning, it was. Oh and did I mention that a friend from the Netherlands is visiting so I had to make space in my compact day for him?

Errands, that is to say, buying a new bulb to replace the broken one (yes literally broken; the thing burst for some weird reason; oh wait, yes there is a reason; life hates my guts), collecting some spare keys from the shop, rearranging my schedule for guitar classes, and finally dropping by the good ol' school to get my SPM cert.

Back home, I had half an hour before I had to go for my guitar class. Enough said.

After class I had to take my good old Dutch friend for lunch, where apparently, we did not get to go Dutch. Aside from that bad pun, he soo did not enjoy chicken rice. How does not not enjoy chicken rice, for god's sake? He's repels Malaysian food like flies to vinegar, like leopards to grass, like kids to MJ.

After that I had to rush to PJ, where I met Jessica after a very long hiatus. Well it wasn't much of a hiatus as it was an only-online-conversations. So yeah. It was great. Boo to those who couldn't be there. She belanja-ed me waffles. Hah.

***

Now I come home and I am tired. Tired. I need my bed.

As I throw myself onto the soft, cushion-y mattress of mine (from Ikea, go figure) I am disturbed:

"Get ready! We're taking Mr Dutch for dinner and movie!"

I need sleep! Does anyone get that?!

***

I sit through another two and a half hours of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Even so, I still can't get enough of that movie. It's simply wunderbar. Sucks to be those who don't like it. Oh wait, actually I did find myself escaping to the toilet to play Sudoku on my phone. I had overestimated my anticipation to see the movie twice.

***

It is 1.20am in the morning, the next day, now. We will be headed to Genting Highlands Theme Park in the morning. We (most definitely) will be home late. I (most definitely) will be tired. I have a Calculus test on Tuesday, Accounting test on Thursday, and a Programming test on Friday. God HELP me.

Dump the exams. Bring on the assignments. I'm tired.

Sixth

Ten more minutes. Just ten more minutes, and my life will be changed forever.

Okay so maybe watching Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince on the premiere night won't make sure a difference to the dull and hectic life of mine, but the thrill of being one the first to do so rocks.

Just ten more minutes. I chew on more popcorn to pass the friggin time, which somehow decided to make like a snail, if you know what I mean.

"Oh my god, did you hear that?!"

Did I mention I'm with my mom?

"That song had the 'F' word in it!" she exclaims.

I realise that she's talking about the song that's being played before the movie starts. An Avenged Sevenfold song, if I'm not mistaken. Seriously wrong song to be played in a theatre filled with parents and their kids. Seriously.

Sighing, I reply. "If one word in a song like that get's you into a fit, then you have a lot more to be worried about."

I chew more popcorn. I have a feeling I will need it to get me through the night.

"...is this the movie where that Harry Potter guy goes nude?"

Oh for goodness sake.

"What?! No! That's Equus! That's totally different! That was on stage! That wasn't even Harry Potter!" I say.

Now it's she who sighs. "Oh. But I came for the movie thinking that he was going to be naked."

Popcorn. I need popcorn.

***

Two and a half hours later (of which one hour I found my mother sleeping), we emerge from the theatre and make our way back to the car. I can't help but express my genuine love for the movie. Top notch. Awesome-ness.

When we get into the car, my mother asks:

"So, this Voldemort fellow. He is evil is it?"

Popcorn. I need popcorn.

Test

Don't you hate your lecturers sometimes? I know I do.

I am sitting in the lecture hall, or rather, the examination hall for now. It's Probability and Statistics I Test 1, and I'm finishing up my answers to the questions. It's surprisingly un-hard.

"Eh-hem... Students please take note about the following errors.." says the booming voice over the microphone. Mr Chua.

Right. Question 4. He's explaining the meaning of the instruction.

"There are 500 males in the blah blah. Of them are blah blah..."

These people are having a problem of understanding what "Of them" means. No comment.

=.=

After that I check to see if I have understood it properly as well. :P Hey, one can never be sure, right?

Suddenly I hear a giggle from behind me. I turn around to find one of the lecturers looking at my paper with a smile. I look once more at my paper. Did I do something wrong?

"Why? Wrong ah?" I asked.

Distractedly, she replies "Huh? No no, it's right." She then smiles and walks away...

...and leaves me there, dumbf**ked.

Now I'm not sure if the questions are as easy as they seem.
:(

Nostalgia II

Can you believe this? I found this is an old post:

So just recently I had a talking-to with myself. This is what I have decided:

"I promise to never never never never ever take anything lightly and always always always take my studies seriously"

So there it is. I have repented. Never again will I be apathetic towards my studies. I will always study hard and achieve good results. Ah, I feel better.

Bullshit. Repented my ass. Here I am, at 1.35 in the morning, when I have a test on Monday. Sigh, I'll never learn my lesson. :D


I love myself, I'm awesome, I'm fabulous...

Nostalgia

I was digging up old posts when I came across this one:

___________________________________________________________________

Once upon a time, in a land 5 kilometers from my my home, there lived a BM teacher.

She was an evil lady who always made her students suffer by throwing homework at them and teaching Sastera improperly (she finished the novel in a week and never went back to it later on). Ignoring the fact that I'm being hyperbolic about her evil character, she also never pitied her students and always made sure they received bad marks in their BM exam. With that she actually had the audacity to tell parents that *student's name* was a little mischievous and she thought he/she could do better if he/she paid attention. I hate it when teachers do that: they scold you as if the world ends if your homework is not done and say "I'm gonna tell your mom/dad" and when the day comes for them to meet the parents they chicken out and say "Well ... your son/daughter is good, but he/she needs to brush up and pay attention" in the most polite tone anyone can have. Hypocrites. No ... no ... Motoloks.

Ok so now that we have established the fact that The Evil BM Teacher is a Motolok, let's call her that from now on.

So Motolok is the editor of the school magazine and she 'works hard' to keep it coming out well. She keeps all the info about the magazine in her FlashDisk; pictures, files, reports, etc. After our society took our group photographs, she gave me a sample photo to show my society members so that they will be able decide if they wanted to buy a copy. I gave it to the secretary of our club so that she could pass it around (alot of 'so that's' huh?). After she had done that she told me she put it on Motolok's table in the staff room. But when I went to her to confirm that she got it, she said that she did not. :| How uckfay-ed up huh? She started telling me stuff like she doesn't know where it was and if I didn't give it to her stuff would happen, I think. So she was really pissed at me. She also told me that my members would not get the pictures and that she did not care. Big deal! Like I gave a shit. Pfft. 8-| Anyway I hated her so much since that event. And what happened next made me happier.

One fine morning during the morning assembly, Motolok takes the mic and informs us that her handbag was stolen. Her FlashDisk was in her handbag so that meant good news for the magazine committee (Ahli Sidang Redaksi). So guess what happened then? She - get ready for this - cried. She started crying, I tell you! She was going on and on about how she was going to jinx the person who took it and other crap like that. The Senior Assistant (Penolong Kanan) tried to take the mic away from her and calmed her down, but she gripped the mic hard, kicked the Penolong Kanan in the shins, and said "Stay away from me Bitch!" And that was that.

Motolok got a new handbag, started strutting around as usual, pretending that we were not making fun of her behind her back (we called her Crybaby), and did not come to class for about a month. Can you believe how irresponsible she was?? Leaving us all alone one month before we were supposed to sit for a bliddy major examination; not to mention we cannot pass SPM without a pass in BM. Our grades for that subject was the suck as it was and there she was going all emo on us.

Then during our trial examination, she came in to invigilate and she did not let go of her handbag. How funny is that? She walked around the class with her handbag hung from one shoulder. I could not stop laughing (on the inside of course).

Anyway the Friday before we sat for our first paper (BM) our school gathered all the Form Five students and got them to have a "thank you" session with their teachers. This was an opportunity for us to thank our teachers for all that they have taught us and cry our eyes out like as if we will actually miss them after that. *rolls eyes till they pop out* So I was shaking hands with my teachers and saying thank you with a huge (fake) smile when I came to Motolok. GUESS WHAT SHE TOLD ME. She told me "Sudhan, good luck for your exams. I hope you do well. I'm sorry for the fight we had earlier this year".

I was gobsmacked! I did not know what to do! I told her "No, Motolok, it was my fault mainly for being irresponsible" and told her "thank you very much". Since then I have felt bad about whatever I talked and thought about her. I'm sorry Motolok. :) I wrote this because I wanted to share this story with the World Wide Web, but you don't care do you? That's because you don't understand what I'm talking about, but thats OK.

Once again I want to stress on the point that I have been hyperbolic in explaining Motolok's character. Don't be stupid and think that she is that evil. She is actually pretty nice. I remember when I was in Form Three, I went to the canteen to get a drink when my teacher was not in class. She caught me on the way and asked me "Where are you going?" and i replied "The canteen, maam". She asked me why and I said that I wanted to buy some water. Then she asked me "You are thirsty, is it?" (Dahaga ke?) and I said "Yes you cock, why else would I want to buy a drink?" Kidding. I said "Yes" of course. The she allowed me to go. My point here is: when she asked me if I was thirsty she gave that motherly look and I thought she was a nice person. I guess I judged her too quickly. However I don't hate her anymore. :)

Torture

"I love myself. I'm awesome. I'm fabulous."

You say it long enough, and you'll start to believe it. I hope.